Sunday, November 15, 2009

Alec Cannon is about finished with facebook again...

OK, so those who have read this blog since the beginning may remember that about a year ago, I wrote a post ranting about how much I hate facebook and how liberated I had felt since deleting my account. Basically, both Randi and I got sick of all the political posturing going on through people's "status updates" (we were constantly being reminded that "Yes We Can" and that we should vote "Yes on Prop 8!"). Randi and I both went sans facebook for a little while, though we eventually caved and reactivated our accounts. Nowadays there isn't nearly as much political posturing going on (though I am sure this will ratchet up next fall), but I am facing a new problem regarding status updates: which is the fact that I am constantly thinking about what my current "status" is, even when I am not actually on facebook.

For example, earlier today I thought to myself, "I should put 'Alec Cannon almost got some homework done this weekend' as my facebook status." How pathetic is that? Here are some other facebook statuses I have thought of lately (and some that I actually posted):

Alec Cannon is wondering why his dog is so picky that she won't eat cabbage on the floor, yet eats her own feces.

Alec Cannon once upon a time called himself "very liberal." Then he graduated from college and had to pay taxes. Now he is apparently just "moderately liberal."

Alec Cannon thinks Andrei Kirilenko looks like a freakishly tall 12 year old.

Generally the status updates that elicit the most feedback are the ones where I write something Randi said. For example:

"Leave your cracker ass at home!" (This one was directed at someone on TV...my guess is that someone must have been white).

"Aww, cute! What a cute white trash family." (A family we saw at the mall).

"I feel like I have lost myself...since I married you." (She was smiling as she said this one...I think).

Anyway, I really just need to get off of facebook...but I don't think I have the strength right now. I guess I will just keep a running status update in my mind until I do...

P.S. Has anyone noticed that people sometimes post a status update and then immediately click the "Like" button (which is generally reserved for others to express to that person they like that person's status)? I thought my latest status update was pretty clever...

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Things you REALLY shouldn't do when you come to visit us in Eugene...

I know that so many of you have thought yourselves, "wow, I really need to get up to Oregon to visit Randi and Alec." I also realize that many of you are completely worried about the unknowns of visiting Oregon (like, will the State make you smoke marijuana? Or will it allow you to pump your own gas?). Not to worry, my friends. I have come up with a list of things you should not do when you come to see us in Eugene.

1. Don't expect everything to be "so green" if you come up during the summer. I had always heard about how everything in the northwest is so lush and green because of all the rain. When we got to Eugene, the grass was crunchy and plants were all dying. WTF? you ask. That's what I asked also. Turns out because it rains here so much for 7 or 8 months, nobody has sprinklers, so during the hot dry summer months (Eugene's Julys are drier than SLC's) everything turns completely brown.

2. Don't wear a Michael Vick jersey. Seriously. You will be murdered. People here seem to care more about Vick's helpless dogs than they do about human beings.

Note of irony: both Michael Vick and the City of Eugene have made tons of money from Nike

3. Don't be surprised if you get hit by a car. Ask anyone who lives here. Randi almost got run over the other day while she was out on a run. You would think drivers here would be extra courteous when it comes to runners (the city likes to call itself "Track Town USA"). But drivers here seem to be in a hurry to get to wherever they are going (probably to protest Michael Vick's reinstatement to the NFL).

4. Don't drive a Hummer with an anti-bike bumper sticker (like this one). People here are crazy about biking (apparently Eugene has the second highest bicyclist commuter percentage in the nation).

Note of irony #2: everyone talks about how "biker friendly" Eugene is. They also all tell you that you are pretty much guaranteed to have your bike stolen at some point which, as my friend Stephen pointed out, makes one question just how biker friendly this town is. Plus, remember #3 -- you will probably get hit by a car.

5. Don't stop to help anyone who appears to be in need. Randi drove by a bunch of kids who appeared to be beating up some poor, defenseless schmo. Being the civic minded individual she is, she stopped to make sure everything was OK. Turns out the kids were joking around. Moments like these make me realize just how far removed I am from my teen years.

6. Don't feel lost if you are driving down a street and realize there isn't a single sign that indicates which street you are on. It simply means you are on "High St." According to this article, "High St." signs in Eugene are among the most stolen in the country. It makes sense though, since Eugene is filled with mostly partying college kids and aging hippies.

7. Don't question Barack Obama, because in Eugene that means you are racist. OK, I am just kidding about this one. I just stole it from stuffwhitepeople.com.

8. Finally, when you come to Eugene, don't wear this shirt.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Useless Disclaimers

Anyone who attends Mormon church meetings (or other church meetings I am guessing) probably hears some variation of the disclaimer, "I am not perfect, but..." on a very regular basis. It is most often used when a person is telling other people what they should or should not be doing. Example:

Billy: We really need to be more generous to homeless people. Now I am not perfect, but I try the best I can to always give vagabonds a quarter...or at the very least a pleasant smile.

Todd: Right on, Billy. Keep on shooting those smiles and one day you will be perfect!

I guess people feel like if they just tell others how to live their lives, they will come across as self-righteous. They give this "I'm not perfect" disclaimer so as to appear more humble. The problem is that this is the most useless and unnecessary disclaimer anyone can ever give. Hey Billy, do you really think I somehow believe that you actually are perfect? Comparing yourself to perfection and admitting that you somehow fall short of it is weaker than telling someone that you're not as good of a basketball player as Michael Jordan, not as kind as Mother Theresa or that a TV show is not as good as Arrested Development. These things are so self-evident that nobody needs to make the comparison. That being said, I decided to make a list of equally useless disclaimers and how they may be used in a sentence. Here goes:

1. I am not your great-great grandmother or anything, but you really need to be nicer to your mom.

2. I have never successfully overthrown a Latin American dictator before, but that Fidel Castro seems like one slippery fish.

3. I'm not currently living on the moon, but I do get lightheaded sometimes.

4. I have never caught a fish that speaks fluent Romanian or anything, but I DO like the outdoors.

5. I'm not a starving baby girl in Africa, but I know adversity.

6. I have never had my head chopped off before, but I did break my pinky in 9th grade gym class.

7. I'm not black, but I do admire Barrack Obama.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Pumpkins

I
Halloween






Go Ducks!


Some people are really good pumpkin carvers.

I made that one above...



The Lesbian Chorus can really carve it up!


Have a Happy Halloween!!!

Friday, October 23, 2009

You'll find us in your search under...

We use Google Analytics to monitor the activity of our blog. It's fun because it gives us information on things like how many hits our blog gets, who's checking us out, and where in the world people are looking at us from. We get excited when we see that someone in China or France has looked at our blog, even though it's just someone who did a google search of something and for some reason our blog came up as one of the choices. Which brings me to the point of this post. Here are a couple of things people have googled that have brought them to our blog:

We get several hits from searches like these:

"a lot of pictures of dysentery"
"didn't know I had dysentery"
"feel like I have dysentery"
"you have died of dysentery Alex"

Hopefully people who have dysentery and find our blog in their search, leave it feeling a little happier about their situation from all the cheer we blog about...

I have no idea why our blog came up in the following searches:

"in dreams 'someone they're dead'"
"george styler"
"the people who died from having a barbeque in their backyard"
"you have cop hair"

Here's my all-time favorite search that turned up our blog:

"tranny amor blogspot"

I'm sure even though we weren't what they were looking for, that person wasn't disappointed.


I will leave you with pictures of some of the latest films our dog has starred in











Rarely do we go on a walk without someone commenting that we have the dog from this movie












Bella notte

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

A few things we've been up to























We visited this beautiful place.


I made a sock monkey. Random.


















Put a couple of designs on some shirts.





















For our anniversary I made Alec a U of O scarf and painted Hank Hill's face on a shirt. We're poor again so everything's homemade.



He made me a book about our first 3 years. He gets 100 gold stars.
I don't like this picture of me. My face looks swollen. Probably from all the tears I cried after reading this book. Happy tears :)




















Lastly, we've reenacted some movies using our dog. Can you guess what this one is? (Hint: It's the circle of life!)

Sunday, October 11, 2009

This place made me want to be a better person

A couple of days ago I went to the vet to get some dog medicine. It was weird in a pleasant way. Let me explain.
You all know I love the heck out of my dog. Well, the people at the animal clinic apparently do too. It was weird because I honestly felt like I was bringing my child to the doctor with the way they were treating her and I even felt a little silly. Come on, I love her, but she's a dog.
Not only were they super nice and concerned about my dog, but they were also really friendly to me! I've been to normal vets before where they are nice and helpful enough, but the people at this place went above and beyond.
They started asking me all of these questions about Leila, what she liked and didn't like etc. etc.
Then they asked me about where I'm from, what I do, what I like and don't like... They even wanted to help me find a job!
How pleasant.
At one point in the conversation I started telling them about how Leila's funny because she loves the snow but hates the rain and how that might be a problem for her in Eugene. Chuckle chuckle chuckle. I guess the assistant in the other room heard me because on my way out she stopped me with a doggy rain coat in her hands and asked me if I wanted it. Duh, of course I did.

No need to fear the rain!













Alec's jealous.






















I don't think we'll ever use it, but man, I wish every place was this friendly.